Welcome to Halloween!

A chill breeze, shaking candle flames and flapping coattails. The grey sky shedding ghostly light onto falling orange leaves. The peripheral glance of someone strange, not right, not human walking among the crowds around you.

It’s time, everyone. It’s the Season of The Middle Child. It’s Halloween.

If you’re like me, it’s been Halloween since mid-July. Every year, more and more of the calendar is dedicated to that glorious day when the barrier between our world and that of the dead is at its most flimsy and penetrable. The creeping symptoms become annual milestones–that first pumpkin beer or coffee, the first purple and orange assorted candy bags, the first pop-up store taking over the haunted vacancy in the strip mall. Then, it builds and builds, until BAM, everyone’s stoop is dripping with cobwebs and every store has a fake blood section.

For all of October, The Middle Child will be celebrating this greatest of all holidays. We will talk only of horror movies, costumes, candy, and all manner of things that go bump in the night. The metal featured in Odin’s Day will be horror-themed, and the cocktails and fiction on Friday will be spooky as the Dickens.

For the record, if you don’t like Halloween, or don’t get Halloween, we’re here to help. Several posts this month will focus on how to maintain the seasonal spirit even if you’re not a vampire-obsessed psycho like myself. There will be tips on adult Halloween, as well as intellectual discourse about movies with zombies in them. Rest assured, we will make a believer out of you.

However, a warning to anyone who claims they are “too old for Halloween”: you’re not welcome here. You can spend your October away from us, watching The Thin Red Line and reading Lee Child and depositing money into your IRA and all that other boring shit that people who have bought into the Maturity Lie seem to enjoy doing. You can have your Christmas and Easter and New Year’s, but you leave this, and us, and Halloween alone. Voodoo dolls have been made for less.

For the rest of you, grab a bowl of candy, pull the mask over your face, and hold on tight. It’s going to be a bump ride to the other side. Happy Halloween.

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