Too often, drinking games are disappointing because they’re created by the kinds of clever fratboys who think of Natty Ice as a dangerous beverage. There’s no risk, no vitality, no change to gash open your knuckle and then pour beer into the wound.
The better drinking games are invented by rednecks. These sons of the soil have an inherent understanding of how skilled, dangerous, and stupid can blend into a delicious cocktail of good times. These games–active, outdoorsy, ill-advised–are the most fun one can have while wasted. And among those games, there is sport finer than Stump.
To play Stump, you will need:
- Yourself and two or more friends (one-on-one Stump is depressing).
- A tree stump.
- A hammer.
- A case of beer.
Everyone gets a nail, and nails it about halfway into the tree stump top. Each player must then flip the hammer in the air; forwards or backwards doesn’t matter, so long as the hammer makes one full rotation in the air. They must then grab the hammer out of the air without pausing, aiming, or rearing it back, and then hit their nail.
The winner is the person who hits their nail all the way in. If you do anything other than catch the hammer and hit your nail according to the rules, you must drink.
As you can imagine, the game gets increasingly difficult as it goes on.
Yeah, yeah, I hear you. This is so dangerous! A bunch of drunks, flipping a hammer? How horrible! But this is what I’m saying about drinking games. If I am making my drinking into an activity, it better be a fun one, and bouncing quarters isn’t that fun. Make a drinking game count. Put your dignity and fingers on the line.*
*The Middle Child accepts no responsibility for any injuries sustained during a game of Stump. Stump should be played by responsible adults 21 or older. Please play Stump responsibly.